This morning I spent some time reading some helpful links and watching some writing-related videos in preparation for my second attempt at completing NaNoWriMo. During the entire month of November writers, novice and published, will embark on the quick journey to creating a 50,000 word novel during National Novel Writing Month. Last year I got as far as signing up and writing the title of my novel.
This year I plan to get a little farther. Perhaps, I may even make the goal. This averages to about 1,667 words per day. Innocently, I thought I could just free-form and write what came naturally during those 30 days. But, come to find out, people (writers) actually will plan the story! They may even use huge, intimidating white boards with many ideas for plot and characters scribbled in each corner. Some writers will use index cards, one for each day of the month, as an outline to their story development. Even the well-organized writer will have a calendar that will keep them on track to when they should be finishing the beginning of the story, deep in crisis-mode, and reaching the climax. All of this planning is a little intimidating.
Thoughts are already surfacing like, "What if my idea is not good enough?" or "Do I even know what the fuck I'm doing?" and the worst, "I'm not a writer, am I?". I hate that destructive self-talk. It's part of the reason why I never seem to accomplish my goals. Goals that have been lingering on my list for years. But, I've got to step away from that negative thinking.
There are writers out there that appeal to everyone, from all walks of life. Some writers soar with their literary finesse. Some authors get published because of their media presence. Some people become authors just by luck. Not all writers have a degree in English literature. Some writers never went to university or maybe, barely, got their high school diploma. Some of the best writers have worked at their craft for years and sent out many a manuscript only to receive countless rejections. But, they kept at it. Bottom line is you may not be the best wordsmith or you may struggle to execute your ideas. Writing comes from the heart and is open to every single person.
There is an audience for every word. So, you've proclaimed to be a writer. I have too. Join me for the month of November and participate in NaNoWriMo. You never know unless you try!
Thursday, October 27, 2011
Saturday, October 8, 2011
Imparting Wisdom
At some point in your adult life, if you have children, you will realize that the student (your child) has become the teacher. This switching of roles thus makes you (at one time the in-charge, all-knowing parent), the student. It is a hard pill to swallow. But, it is a necessary remedy for wondering how effective you are in your parenting role.
As parents we inevitably will ask ourselves, "Are all the lessons and advice I am trying to instill in my kids' brain getting through to them?" Does what I say (and sometimes repeat over and over for years on end) ever register with them? And, if you are very lucky, you will one day realize that they were listening after all! It is a fine day when this realization becomes clear.
My eldest son, a sophomore in college, is gracing us with his presence this weekend during his fall break. And, the funny thing is, he really does think he is doing it for our benefit. He realizes we miss him. More importantly, he knows how much he is loved. But, even better, at the ripe old age of 19, he understands that his tough love and words of wisdom are much-needed.
Being in college is not so much about opening the books and studying your ass off to get a 4.0 grade point average (although I will forever continue to nag him about how important this is and how it should be his first priority). Getting a higher education, away from home, is more about learning about yourself through the people you meet. They may be your roommates who come from a different culture or another part of the country. They may be the cute girl down the hall that you happen to say 'hello' to or hold the door for and befriend unexpectedly. Inevitably, you will each share a part of yourselves, your upbringing, your childhood 'story'. You may even realize through all of the sharing of personal experiences that you really have had a blessed life compared to others.
College is an exciting time for discovering who you are and who you want to be in the future. You gain an understanding of how you became the person you are today and more importantly find out what you need to do to become the best and happiest you. You have the freedom from your families' influence because you've been away from them for a while. You've stepped away far enough from the situation to see the function (or disfunction) of the relationships around you.
And the best part? You now have the courage and confidence to speak your mind. You tell those you love what their shortcomings are and what they need to do to change and be a better person. This may shock, aggravate, or make the receiver of the message uncomfortable but you are so cocky you really don't give a shit. And the best part? You are right on the mark. Yes, you may be a little direct and abrasive but your candor alone reveals just how much you love those around you. You are willing to be upfront and honest because the people you love deserve to know what you think.
And if you are REALLY loved? They will ask you your opinion and thank you for imparting your wisdom!
Thursday, September 15, 2011
Ups and Downs
Not much to say these days.
Tired of complaining.
The 'woe is me' story is getting really old and worn-out.
The ups and downs of life are really just what life is all about. Nothing is going to be perfect. And, striving for perfection is exhausting. Seeing life as something great while you're in the pits of despair is nearly impossible. But, once you climb out of the sinkhole you realize you can do it. It all comes down to mental dexterity.
Can I change my way of thinking so that I can actually convince myself that there is light at the end of the tunnel?
Is it possible that I have the strength, endurance, and fortitude within my soul to overcome obstacles which I subconsciously put in my own way?
It is so easy to take steps back, go on the wrong path, and fall into the same traps which you may have been released from previously in your life. Life is a journey of lessons that are presented to you. If you find yourself facing the same challenges over and over again it is because you have not mastered the lesson. It's like beating a dead horse; not satisfying, extremely cruel, and socially unacceptable.
But, really, who cares about what others think? You come into this world alone. You die alone. Everything in between, all the people we meet, and opportunities we take or pass on, are all part of OUR lessons to be learned in OUR life. My life is different than yours and hence my path to enlightenment will be unique to me.
As much as I say I don't care what others think or do I find myself getting angry, jealous, and annoyed by people. Strangers, acquaintances, friends, family members, pretty much any one I meet or hear about has the potential to incite a negative emotion within me. Perhaps this just means I am over-sensitive. Or, do I care too much?
Some times I wish I could be the type of self-actualized person who operates solely out of love and light and every thing is 'ohm'. They have balanced energy and have harnessed the best of 'chi'. I ponder if this is really where I want to end up at the end of my journey. If I embrace such a way of living will the REAL ME be lost in the over-abundance of positivity? Or, am I just 'made' to be a negative person?
At 46 years old I realize at least half my life is over. Some days I feel and act like a little girl protected from the evils of the world. Other days I feel and act like the evils of the world have penetrated my very soul. I am still not sure why I am here on this earth. I have no clue if I have contributed any thing of importance (other than my two beautiful sons). Is my path pre-determined? Will I end up dying without making an impact?
Life is a series of ups and downs. It is like the Dragoncoaster at Playland in Rye, New York. Old, rickety, fast, exciting, scary, exhilarating, twisting, and grinds to a halt just when you are having fun.
Thursday, September 1, 2011
Bethenny's Rules
I just finished reading Bethenny Frankel's, A Place of Yes: 10 Rules for Getting Everything You Want Out of Life. This book is the perfect combination of two of my favorite genres of books: self-help and autobiography.
Why do I care what Ms. Frankel has to say you may ask? Well, I get the feeling that Bethenny tells it like it is, says what's on her mind, and does not sugar-coat reality. Yes, I admit that I am a fan of reality television and The Real Housewives series is one of my favorite indulgences. I happen to watch re-runs on the CW at 9:00 a.m. (EST) Monday through Friday whenever I get a chance. Bethenny happens to be my favorite 'housewife' from the New York episodes. She is so relatable and down-to-earth. She has a wry sense of humor. I love how she kept her cool and stood up to the shenanigans of Kelly Bensimon.
I read another Bethenny Frankel book, Naturally Thin, and found it helpful. Ms. Frankel's recent business accomplishments with selling her Skinnygirl spirits brand to Fortune Brands for many, many dollars illuminates her as a force to be reckoned with. She is so open with her background, foibles, and well-deserved rise to the top. I was definitely curious to find out what her journey to success taught her. As I read the book I tried to relate events in my life and measure how well I fared with each rule.
1. Break the chain. For the past two years I've been on this journey of realizing I must let go of the past in order to move toward the future with a clean slate. Learning how to forgive and change my voice has been a challenge but I realize it is the first and most important step.
2. Find your truth. Who am I? What is my authentic self? What do I really want to do with my life? Self-exploration and self-awareness is so important for developing a plan and going after what you want in life.
3. Act on it. This is where I stumble or cripple myself. I know I am the one responsible for making things happen. I can't rely on anyone but myself. At times it feels like something is missing from my gut. There is no drive nor ambition. Fear is swallowing me whole.
4. Everything's your business. I love this rule. It basically says try everything at least once and if it doesn't work out it's okay. It is a learning experience. How will you know if you never try?
5. All roads lead to Rome. Perseverance even when you may take the wrong turn (or think you may have taken the wrong turn) will lead you to your goal. Stay focused. Learn from the hiccups because even in them there is a lesson which will help us get to where we want to be.
6. Go for yours. I love that Bethenny recognizes the necessity of first being your own person and fulfilling your needs before you can help others. As mothers we tend to put everyone elses needs first. As my kids have gotten older I realize what a better mother I am when I focus on what I want out of my own life. As I learn to love myself I love others more freely.
7. Separate from the pack. I realized my individuality and uniqueness in college. I embrace my ideas and independence of thought. I'm not one to be conventional. I appreciate difference and diversity. I love that I have freedom to be myself.
8. Own it. Boy, I've practiced a lot of truth-telling just by starting this blog and exposing my feelings. This is how I own it. Good and bad, this is how I am.
9. Come together. Connection with other people? Not my forte. This will be a tough nut to crack. I'm not sure I even like people half the time. I am very protective of those people whom I care about. I don't feel the need to tweet and join every social networking outlet. I don't measure my worth by how many 'followers' or Facebook friends I have. But, perhaps I see this rule as a challenge because I haven't quite mastered the other rules yet. I haven't gotten myself 'right'.
10. Celebrate! It's one word. It should be so easy. But, for me, it's not. When I read this rule I felt a deep sense of regret in the pit of my stomach. I was never the type of mom to go overboard and have a birthday party for each of my kids where they invited a dozen friends and shared gifts and cake. I always keep celebrations private and within the family. They are never extravagant and border on mundane and predictable. There is no life in the minimal celebrations in my life. Perhaps, one day, I will find success and happiness such that my celebrations will reflect the positive energy in my life.
But, for now, it appears that I have to start back at rule number one. No one said that getting everything I want out of life would be easy. Some paths are longer than others. Some paths have more roadblocks. And, even some paths appear to be never-ending. But, part of coming from a place of yes is BELIEVING in yourself that you can do it. You can get everything you want out of life. And, that you DESERVE it!
Why do I care what Ms. Frankel has to say you may ask? Well, I get the feeling that Bethenny tells it like it is, says what's on her mind, and does not sugar-coat reality. Yes, I admit that I am a fan of reality television and The Real Housewives series is one of my favorite indulgences. I happen to watch re-runs on the CW at 9:00 a.m. (EST) Monday through Friday whenever I get a chance. Bethenny happens to be my favorite 'housewife' from the New York episodes. She is so relatable and down-to-earth. She has a wry sense of humor. I love how she kept her cool and stood up to the shenanigans of Kelly Bensimon.
I read another Bethenny Frankel book, Naturally Thin, and found it helpful. Ms. Frankel's recent business accomplishments with selling her Skinnygirl spirits brand to Fortune Brands for many, many dollars illuminates her as a force to be reckoned with. She is so open with her background, foibles, and well-deserved rise to the top. I was definitely curious to find out what her journey to success taught her. As I read the book I tried to relate events in my life and measure how well I fared with each rule.
1. Break the chain. For the past two years I've been on this journey of realizing I must let go of the past in order to move toward the future with a clean slate. Learning how to forgive and change my voice has been a challenge but I realize it is the first and most important step.
2. Find your truth. Who am I? What is my authentic self? What do I really want to do with my life? Self-exploration and self-awareness is so important for developing a plan and going after what you want in life.
3. Act on it. This is where I stumble or cripple myself. I know I am the one responsible for making things happen. I can't rely on anyone but myself. At times it feels like something is missing from my gut. There is no drive nor ambition. Fear is swallowing me whole.
4. Everything's your business. I love this rule. It basically says try everything at least once and if it doesn't work out it's okay. It is a learning experience. How will you know if you never try?
5. All roads lead to Rome. Perseverance even when you may take the wrong turn (or think you may have taken the wrong turn) will lead you to your goal. Stay focused. Learn from the hiccups because even in them there is a lesson which will help us get to where we want to be.
6. Go for yours. I love that Bethenny recognizes the necessity of first being your own person and fulfilling your needs before you can help others. As mothers we tend to put everyone elses needs first. As my kids have gotten older I realize what a better mother I am when I focus on what I want out of my own life. As I learn to love myself I love others more freely.
7. Separate from the pack. I realized my individuality and uniqueness in college. I embrace my ideas and independence of thought. I'm not one to be conventional. I appreciate difference and diversity. I love that I have freedom to be myself.
8. Own it. Boy, I've practiced a lot of truth-telling just by starting this blog and exposing my feelings. This is how I own it. Good and bad, this is how I am.
9. Come together. Connection with other people? Not my forte. This will be a tough nut to crack. I'm not sure I even like people half the time. I am very protective of those people whom I care about. I don't feel the need to tweet and join every social networking outlet. I don't measure my worth by how many 'followers' or Facebook friends I have. But, perhaps I see this rule as a challenge because I haven't quite mastered the other rules yet. I haven't gotten myself 'right'.
10. Celebrate! It's one word. It should be so easy. But, for me, it's not. When I read this rule I felt a deep sense of regret in the pit of my stomach. I was never the type of mom to go overboard and have a birthday party for each of my kids where they invited a dozen friends and shared gifts and cake. I always keep celebrations private and within the family. They are never extravagant and border on mundane and predictable. There is no life in the minimal celebrations in my life. Perhaps, one day, I will find success and happiness such that my celebrations will reflect the positive energy in my life.
But, for now, it appears that I have to start back at rule number one. No one said that getting everything I want out of life would be easy. Some paths are longer than others. Some paths have more roadblocks. And, even some paths appear to be never-ending. But, part of coming from a place of yes is BELIEVING in yourself that you can do it. You can get everything you want out of life. And, that you DESERVE it!
Tuesday, August 30, 2011
Required Reading
This may sound lame or strange to some people but every year I get excited to see my son's list of required reading. Part of the reason is that I get a kick out of going to my local used book store, tracking down the title, and paying a pittance for a decent used book. The other cause for my eagerness is to see what literary works he'll be tackling and if they reflect what I studied in school way back when.
I hate to say it but this year I'm a little disappointed with 'the list'. The great thing is that I actually own six of the nine books on the list. So, I can greatly appreciate that I'll be shelling out a mere pittance from my lean purse. The disappointment comes into play when we realize he's read a majority of the books. What's the problem?
Well, to some of you, you don't actually see a problem. In fact, you may say something like, "Oh great, then he won't have to read it again" or "English will be an easy A for him this year". And, when I hear comments like that I shudder deep inside. Some people fail to understand that when you have a child who is an avid reader, who actually enjoys opening a real book (not a Kindle or other electronic gadget), and who consumes and thrives on the words on a page, a syllabus that lists books he's already devoured is like eating a loaf of stale bread. Totally unappetizing.
To a person who enjoys the literary world and gets a type of inner fulfillment by sitting down with themselves and a book taking a class to discuss already explored waters can become rote and mundane. It's not about not having to read it again. It's not about an 'easy A'. To an academically gifted person who excels in language arts it is about the discovery of new characters, new worlds, new expressions, and new points of view.
I am on the fence about bringing this point up with his teacher. I don't want to start off on the wrong foot and dis (disrespect) his teacher's itinerary. At the same time, I feel I should share my voice, opinion, and concern. This time, I probably won't say anything too loudly. Or, perhaps I'll make an inquiry on Parent's Open House night next week and ask what the motivation was to choose the following books:
Anthem by Ayn Rand
Nicolas has not read this although it looks like an interesting story. We like dystopian fiction.
The Help by Kathryn Stockett
Nicolas has not read this and if it were not on his required reading list I doubt he would choose it. My mother and I saw the movie this past weekend (we have not read the book). I'm not sure how closely the movie follows the book but I guess he'll have to muddle through this read. It does not seem like a story that would intrigue a 14-year-old boy. The discussion on racism will be the saving grace for this choice.
The Curious Incident of the Dog in the Night Time by Mark Haddon
Nicolas has not read this but after reading a short synopsis it sounds like this might be a winner. I'm not sure how this fits in with the curriculum other than to engage in empathy for those with mental disorders? I may be totally off on this one but I will tackle the book myself.
Persepolis by Marjane Satrapi
Since the format of this book is comic-style Nicolas read this almost five years ago when it was assigned reading for his older brother when he was in tenth grade. They have since made a movie of which I've seen.
The Odyssey by Homer
Yay, finally, a classic! Unfortunately, Nicolas read this two summers ago (under his own initiative). Luckily, he enjoyed it. We also watched the high school production two years ago.
To Kill a Mockingbird by Harper Lee
Another classic, another book that Nicolas already read under his own volition. The movie is also one of my favorites.
A Raisin in the Sun by Lorraine Hansberry
A classic that Nicolas has not yet read. There is also a couple of versions of the movie out there so maybe the teacher will engage the class with a viewing?
Romeo and Juliet by William Shakespeare
Easily one of my favorites. The movies are great too. I especially like the creativity of the remake with Claire Danes and Leonardo DiCaprio. I hope the class gets to incorporate any of the movies in their discussion. Thankfully, Nicolas appreciates Shakespeare and has read a couple of his other plays.
The Hunger Games by Suzanne Collins
Nicolas read the entire trilogy at the beginning of this summer. His motive was because the movie is being shot in North Carolina and there may have been an opportunity to be a part of the project. We all enjoyed the books (see previous posts) and we are all looking forward to the movie scheduled for release in March 2012. Perhaps the teacher is planning a class excursion to the movie theater? One can only hope!
I am not sure if this list of required reading reflects the skill level of academically gifted ninth graders. I think there are too many books of contemporary fiction. Whatever happened to some of my favorite classics like: The Catcher in the Rye, Lord of the Flies, or A Separate Peace? Perhaps, they are no longer relevant for class discussion. My dilemma is and has always been to keep my child interested in school by providing new challenges and interesting material. At the same time I would like him to get good grades. And I am forever left with the question:
Is it better to be challenged by difficult material which will enhance your knowledge and test your strengths or is it best to be rewarded with an 'A' by exercising mediocre effort because there is nothing to 'up' your game?
I hate to say it but this year I'm a little disappointed with 'the list'. The great thing is that I actually own six of the nine books on the list. So, I can greatly appreciate that I'll be shelling out a mere pittance from my lean purse. The disappointment comes into play when we realize he's read a majority of the books. What's the problem?
Well, to some of you, you don't actually see a problem. In fact, you may say something like, "Oh great, then he won't have to read it again" or "English will be an easy A for him this year". And, when I hear comments like that I shudder deep inside. Some people fail to understand that when you have a child who is an avid reader, who actually enjoys opening a real book (not a Kindle or other electronic gadget), and who consumes and thrives on the words on a page, a syllabus that lists books he's already devoured is like eating a loaf of stale bread. Totally unappetizing.
To a person who enjoys the literary world and gets a type of inner fulfillment by sitting down with themselves and a book taking a class to discuss already explored waters can become rote and mundane. It's not about not having to read it again. It's not about an 'easy A'. To an academically gifted person who excels in language arts it is about the discovery of new characters, new worlds, new expressions, and new points of view.
I am on the fence about bringing this point up with his teacher. I don't want to start off on the wrong foot and dis (disrespect) his teacher's itinerary. At the same time, I feel I should share my voice, opinion, and concern. This time, I probably won't say anything too loudly. Or, perhaps I'll make an inquiry on Parent's Open House night next week and ask what the motivation was to choose the following books:
Anthem by Ayn Rand
Nicolas has not read this although it looks like an interesting story. We like dystopian fiction.
The Help by Kathryn Stockett
Nicolas has not read this and if it were not on his required reading list I doubt he would choose it. My mother and I saw the movie this past weekend (we have not read the book). I'm not sure how closely the movie follows the book but I guess he'll have to muddle through this read. It does not seem like a story that would intrigue a 14-year-old boy. The discussion on racism will be the saving grace for this choice.
The Curious Incident of the Dog in the Night Time by Mark Haddon
Nicolas has not read this but after reading a short synopsis it sounds like this might be a winner. I'm not sure how this fits in with the curriculum other than to engage in empathy for those with mental disorders? I may be totally off on this one but I will tackle the book myself.
Persepolis by Marjane Satrapi
Since the format of this book is comic-style Nicolas read this almost five years ago when it was assigned reading for his older brother when he was in tenth grade. They have since made a movie of which I've seen.
The Odyssey by Homer
Yay, finally, a classic! Unfortunately, Nicolas read this two summers ago (under his own initiative). Luckily, he enjoyed it. We also watched the high school production two years ago.
To Kill a Mockingbird by Harper Lee
Another classic, another book that Nicolas already read under his own volition. The movie is also one of my favorites.
A Raisin in the Sun by Lorraine Hansberry
A classic that Nicolas has not yet read. There is also a couple of versions of the movie out there so maybe the teacher will engage the class with a viewing?
Romeo and Juliet by William Shakespeare
Easily one of my favorites. The movies are great too. I especially like the creativity of the remake with Claire Danes and Leonardo DiCaprio. I hope the class gets to incorporate any of the movies in their discussion. Thankfully, Nicolas appreciates Shakespeare and has read a couple of his other plays.
The Hunger Games by Suzanne Collins
Nicolas read the entire trilogy at the beginning of this summer. His motive was because the movie is being shot in North Carolina and there may have been an opportunity to be a part of the project. We all enjoyed the books (see previous posts) and we are all looking forward to the movie scheduled for release in March 2012. Perhaps the teacher is planning a class excursion to the movie theater? One can only hope!
I am not sure if this list of required reading reflects the skill level of academically gifted ninth graders. I think there are too many books of contemporary fiction. Whatever happened to some of my favorite classics like: The Catcher in the Rye, Lord of the Flies, or A Separate Peace? Perhaps, they are no longer relevant for class discussion. My dilemma is and has always been to keep my child interested in school by providing new challenges and interesting material. At the same time I would like him to get good grades. And I am forever left with the question:
Is it better to be challenged by difficult material which will enhance your knowledge and test your strengths or is it best to be rewarded with an 'A' by exercising mediocre effort because there is nothing to 'up' your game?
Dog Days of August
August has been brutal so far. Never mind that it has been near or above 100 degrees for the past month at least 80% of the time there is just a lot to do all of a sudden and I can barely muster up the energy to get through the day.
I stay inside most days because here in Raleigh, NC when it's 100 degrees the humidity makes it feel 10 degrees warmer. You can cut the heat with a knife and get drenched when venturing out even to your mail box. This kind of heat gives me a headache and makes me extremely cranky.
Since I have limited access to transportation (we've been down to one car for over two years now) I have to plan running errands on the weekend (first thing in the morning) or during the week in the afternoon if my husband gets home before 5:00 p.m. I really don't have that much running around to do, truth be told, since I have limited funds but sometimes I just need to get out for a change of scenery.
This past weekend was 'tax-free'. Meaning, there was no sales tax charged on certain back to school items and some electronic stuff including computers. I love saving money but I hate crowds so normally I would bypass such an event because it really doesn't add up to much savings if you factor in the aggravation and time spent in line. However, this year the tax-free weekend coincided with our need for a new computer for our son who is starting high school in a couple of weeks. His computer died about two weeks ago. It was over five years old any way. I really don't know much about technology (I always shut down when people start spewing out terms that sound like a foreign language that I have no interest in learning). The whole thing just gets me sick to my stomach.
So, after checking out BJ's to see if they had something in our price-range and compatible to our needs we headed off to Best Buy. I hate that store. But, I will say that they had it 'organized'. Basically, you stood in line and waited for a salesperson to assist you in answering questions and matching your needs with the 'right' computer for you. After five minutes or so I lost it. I had a meltdown in the store and had to walk away. I cried in a corner. I just got totally pissed that they try to sell you a computer and then there's all of these 'extras' which in my mind should be included in the original friggin price. Every time I go there I feel like I get bent over and raped. Warranties, back up systems, tech support...if you really need that stuff then include it in the first place for Christ's sake!
Other things going on that have caused unnecessary anxiety and made this month smell like a dog (hence my usage of the term 'dog days of August'):
- Having to learn how to use a Flip video camera to record an audition and then submit it online. As I said before, me and technology just do not click so this caused me many a sleepless night. Never mind the fact that there were lines to remember, lighting to figure out, practice, and cut after cut. I'm happy to say we made it and I feel glad that I can cross this off my list.
- Nicolas going to 'Flight School' or orientation this week and then starting high school later this month. My little boy is venturing out on a new chapter in his academic career. His schedule looks pretty good. We've been studying for the SAT this summer and doing some math review so I'm confident that he will do well this year. He knows how important it is to get good grades so that you have a good GPA and class standing when college application time rolls around.
- Sending my oldest son Justin back for his second year of college next week. The good thing is it is not as stressful as last year when we ended up over-packing and worrying about everything under the sun. This year he knows what he needs, he knows we can always bring him any additional items at a later time, and we are all much calmer. This doesn't mean I will miss him any less but we will all feel an emptiness when he leaves.
- The recent inability for our government representatives to work as a team and put the reputation of America and the needs of its citizens first really has me dragging my butt with a sense of dread. The manic machinations of Wall Street for the last couple of days in response to the dropping of our credit rating has me worried. And, it is evident that the global economy and world is responding to America's inability to pull it together. Everyone will be effected by America's inability to get our act together.
And, as we near the end of the dog days of August we approach the serene, and calming cat days of September. One can only hope!
(Please note: This post was created on 8/8/11 and edited/posted on 8/30/2011.)
I stay inside most days because here in Raleigh, NC when it's 100 degrees the humidity makes it feel 10 degrees warmer. You can cut the heat with a knife and get drenched when venturing out even to your mail box. This kind of heat gives me a headache and makes me extremely cranky.
Since I have limited access to transportation (we've been down to one car for over two years now) I have to plan running errands on the weekend (first thing in the morning) or during the week in the afternoon if my husband gets home before 5:00 p.m. I really don't have that much running around to do, truth be told, since I have limited funds but sometimes I just need to get out for a change of scenery.
This past weekend was 'tax-free'. Meaning, there was no sales tax charged on certain back to school items and some electronic stuff including computers. I love saving money but I hate crowds so normally I would bypass such an event because it really doesn't add up to much savings if you factor in the aggravation and time spent in line. However, this year the tax-free weekend coincided with our need for a new computer for our son who is starting high school in a couple of weeks. His computer died about two weeks ago. It was over five years old any way. I really don't know much about technology (I always shut down when people start spewing out terms that sound like a foreign language that I have no interest in learning). The whole thing just gets me sick to my stomach.
So, after checking out BJ's to see if they had something in our price-range and compatible to our needs we headed off to Best Buy. I hate that store. But, I will say that they had it 'organized'. Basically, you stood in line and waited for a salesperson to assist you in answering questions and matching your needs with the 'right' computer for you. After five minutes or so I lost it. I had a meltdown in the store and had to walk away. I cried in a corner. I just got totally pissed that they try to sell you a computer and then there's all of these 'extras' which in my mind should be included in the original friggin price. Every time I go there I feel like I get bent over and raped. Warranties, back up systems, tech support...if you really need that stuff then include it in the first place for Christ's sake!
Other things going on that have caused unnecessary anxiety and made this month smell like a dog (hence my usage of the term 'dog days of August'):
- Having to learn how to use a Flip video camera to record an audition and then submit it online. As I said before, me and technology just do not click so this caused me many a sleepless night. Never mind the fact that there were lines to remember, lighting to figure out, practice, and cut after cut. I'm happy to say we made it and I feel glad that I can cross this off my list.
- Nicolas going to 'Flight School' or orientation this week and then starting high school later this month. My little boy is venturing out on a new chapter in his academic career. His schedule looks pretty good. We've been studying for the SAT this summer and doing some math review so I'm confident that he will do well this year. He knows how important it is to get good grades so that you have a good GPA and class standing when college application time rolls around.
- Sending my oldest son Justin back for his second year of college next week. The good thing is it is not as stressful as last year when we ended up over-packing and worrying about everything under the sun. This year he knows what he needs, he knows we can always bring him any additional items at a later time, and we are all much calmer. This doesn't mean I will miss him any less but we will all feel an emptiness when he leaves.
- The recent inability for our government representatives to work as a team and put the reputation of America and the needs of its citizens first really has me dragging my butt with a sense of dread. The manic machinations of Wall Street for the last couple of days in response to the dropping of our credit rating has me worried. And, it is evident that the global economy and world is responding to America's inability to pull it together. Everyone will be effected by America's inability to get our act together.
And, as we near the end of the dog days of August we approach the serene, and calming cat days of September. One can only hope!
(Please note: This post was created on 8/8/11 and edited/posted on 8/30/2011.)
Monday, August 15, 2011
This Time Last Year Looking Back
It is amazing how much can change in one year. The contrast between this week and that of last year is so drastic; not quite black versus white but certainly white against a dark, heather gray.
Last year we were feverishly getting Justin ready for his freshman year at college. Boxes, crates, and duffel bags crowded our dining room for weeks before the morning we left Raleigh and dropped our first-born baby an hour and a half away from home. The first time our child was on his own. Nervousness, stress, and anxiety was pretty thick back then. We just wanted everything to go well and without a hitch. He made it through the entire year, unscathed, and with passing grades. We were all happy to have year one under our belts.
This year, by contrast, he's leaving in two days and we have not started to pack. He knows what to bring and what not to bring. Basically, last year we over-packed. This year we are taking the bare basics and if he happens to need something we can always bring it to him in September during Parents Weekend or sooner if it is urgent. We are all pretty mellow this time around and it is cool. We will miss Justin just as much, if not more. But, we know he's only a short drive away.
His first summer home after being on his own went pretty well too. He worked, hung out with his brother, and pretty much did what he wanted. I stayed out of his way for the most part and kept the nagging at a minimum. I'm proud for how much he's matured and conducted himself. Justin is a great kid but an even better young man.
Most of the change has taken place in our immediate neighborhood. When we arrived back home after dropping Justin off last year we received terrible news that our neighbor passed away. I can't believe she's been gone a year already! Her husband (in his eighties) lived on his own, alone in his 2000 square foot home up until a month ago. He had a fall and before we knew it a family member picked him up and moved him to Arizona or somewhere out west. I feel bad for him and pray that he's coping with his wife's one-year anniversary in heaven.
Our neighbors in the cul-de-sac finally sold their home after listing it on Halloween 2010. This was probably the worst time to list your home. I knew it was over-priced from the beginning. Every one should know that the only reason a house doesn't sell is the price. I believe they ended up reducing their price almost 10% from the original asking price last year. People just get unrealistic and create a personal attachment to their homes and basically think they are worth more than they really are. In the past month there has been another four listings sprouting in our neighborhood of 150 or so homes. This has been the most at one time that I've seen in years. The new neighbors moved in this week. We haven't met them yet.
The next life-changing moment will come next week when our youngest starts high school. I cannot stress enough how quickly time flies when you have kids. I realize now that there is no going back and there are no do-overs. If I can pass on one thing to the parents of young kids I would stress over and over that you MUST enjoy each and every day with your child. One day you will look back on the tantrums, sibling arguments, and boo boos and relish in the feeling of being needed by your child. They grow up way too fast.
Last year we were feverishly getting Justin ready for his freshman year at college. Boxes, crates, and duffel bags crowded our dining room for weeks before the morning we left Raleigh and dropped our first-born baby an hour and a half away from home. The first time our child was on his own. Nervousness, stress, and anxiety was pretty thick back then. We just wanted everything to go well and without a hitch. He made it through the entire year, unscathed, and with passing grades. We were all happy to have year one under our belts.
This year, by contrast, he's leaving in two days and we have not started to pack. He knows what to bring and what not to bring. Basically, last year we over-packed. This year we are taking the bare basics and if he happens to need something we can always bring it to him in September during Parents Weekend or sooner if it is urgent. We are all pretty mellow this time around and it is cool. We will miss Justin just as much, if not more. But, we know he's only a short drive away.
His first summer home after being on his own went pretty well too. He worked, hung out with his brother, and pretty much did what he wanted. I stayed out of his way for the most part and kept the nagging at a minimum. I'm proud for how much he's matured and conducted himself. Justin is a great kid but an even better young man.
Most of the change has taken place in our immediate neighborhood. When we arrived back home after dropping Justin off last year we received terrible news that our neighbor passed away. I can't believe she's been gone a year already! Her husband (in his eighties) lived on his own, alone in his 2000 square foot home up until a month ago. He had a fall and before we knew it a family member picked him up and moved him to Arizona or somewhere out west. I feel bad for him and pray that he's coping with his wife's one-year anniversary in heaven.
Our neighbors in the cul-de-sac finally sold their home after listing it on Halloween 2010. This was probably the worst time to list your home. I knew it was over-priced from the beginning. Every one should know that the only reason a house doesn't sell is the price. I believe they ended up reducing their price almost 10% from the original asking price last year. People just get unrealistic and create a personal attachment to their homes and basically think they are worth more than they really are. In the past month there has been another four listings sprouting in our neighborhood of 150 or so homes. This has been the most at one time that I've seen in years. The new neighbors moved in this week. We haven't met them yet.
The next life-changing moment will come next week when our youngest starts high school. I cannot stress enough how quickly time flies when you have kids. I realize now that there is no going back and there are no do-overs. If I can pass on one thing to the parents of young kids I would stress over and over that you MUST enjoy each and every day with your child. One day you will look back on the tantrums, sibling arguments, and boo boos and relish in the feeling of being needed by your child. They grow up way too fast.
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