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Tuesday, December 7, 2010

How Can My Friend Be My Enemy?

For someone who is pretty much a hermit, introvert, and basically an anti-social person, 'community', in the true sense of the word, makes me cringe.  When I saw today's prompt I kind of dreaded the task of devising a response.  But here's my attempt at the following challenge:

December 7 - Community.  Where have you discovered community, online or otherwise, in 2010?  What community would you like to join, create or more deeply connect with in 2011?

I actually started participating in the Facebook community during 2009 but I intentionally decided to expand my 'reach' during 2010.  Facebook has been a savior of sorts to me.  I have reconnected with some fantastic people from my past.  People who I shared a lot of childhood memories and 'first' experiences have accepted my Facebook friendship.  Some of these rekindled connections have been extremely positive and supportive.  They have made me feel like I was a 'part of' something great.  For a person who 'works' from home, a connection to the outside world is sometimes crucial for one's piece of mind.  It breaks up the monotony and predictability of being a stay-at-home mom.

Yes, there have been some surprising 'de-friending' situations which do have me baffled and, yes, I did take this personally.  There have also been some friendship requests initiated by me that are still out there in cyberspace, dangling on a leash, and waiting for acceptance.  Yes, I still take it personally.  But there are a few Facebook friends with whom I've shared quite a bit of my life and while they've retained my status as 'friend' (at least virtually) there has been no reciprocation of 'reaching out'.  I mean a total dismissal of an e-mail with well-wishes.  This pisses me off.  Situations like this only reiterate the positives of being a recluse with limited friends.  Basically, it lessens the probability of getting hurt.

Facebook has eaten up a lot of my precious time that I could spend blogging or writing my first novel.  Specifically, I tend to procrastinate with the virtual games that offer the fake pleasures of:  working my farm, clearing my frontier, honing my poker skills, and bejiggling the bejesus out of bejeweled blitz.  This is stuff that is under my control, though.  I can purposely change my behavior and schedule, with a little commitment on my part, and control the time I spend on Facebook.  This is one of my goals for 2011:  to adjust my time on Facebook doing frivolous, fun stuff.

I've enjoyed joining some groups and participating in writing challenges like Nanowrimo and #reverb10.  During 2011, I hope to expand my horizons and concentrate on:  following more blogs, writing more blogs, and reaching out to the writing community both virtually and within my region.


  1. Your brain is always looking for confirmation of your beliefs. If you think it's better to be a recluse with limited friends, you'll create situations that prove it.

    I'm so proud of you for jumping into new communities this year and am excited about the possibilities 2011 hold for you with your writing and new connections.


  2. Hi Lisa,

    I always look forward to your comments because I can count on you to deliver the truth.

    I haven't decided if I like my 'recluse' situation but it works for me right now, at this point in my life. Now that I am older and wiser I can selectively choose the people with whom I interact.

    I'm looking forward to the challenge of accomplishing some hefty writing goals in 2011. Thank you for your support.